How to Deal with Homeschool Mom PMS Days

As I sit here, in the candlelight with a cozy blanket, I’m listening to what feels good (presently jazz), reading what I feel like (the gardening seed catalog), and experiencing the nigglings of premenstrual tension (or perimenopause, so hard to decide at this stage of my life).

In my homeschool mom PMS days, I’m reminded that self-compassion is more necessary than ever as I’m more likely to feel overwhelmed, agitated, or frustrated, I’m more likely to feel defensive as I explain my homeschool choice, again, and I’m more likely to feel uncertain about this homeschool thing altogether (not in front of those questioning me, though).

Self-compassion is required when we’d rather curl up in a ball for a few days, tell the kids to watch documentaries or go play outside, again, or at the very least, insist that mama does not have the fortitude to explain a math page, so there’ll be no math this week.

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How do you approach your homeschool mom PMS days?

I shared in the video above that if there was ONE thing I would want to share with homeschool mamas, it would be this: schedule your period into your homeschool schedule (& your phone reminders).

And plan as necessary.

So what self-compassion strategies do you use for this period of your month?

As a homeschool mom, experiencing PMS, PMDD, or perimenopause can be challenging, because we sometimes want to curl up in a ball, or at the very least, just cozy up on the couch and enjoy a few hours, possibly days, of absolute silence.

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Let’s unpack homeschool mom PMS days, in case it’s not painfully clear in your twenty-five to fifty-five-year-old self.

First, grab your journal and record your typical experience most months. Can you do it? Are you super clear on the hints that your period is just around the corner?

PMS is a combination of physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms that occur in the days leading up to menstruation, which may or may not include the following:

Physical symptoms:

• Feeling unusually tired or lethargic.
• Experiencing abdominal bloating and discomfort.
• Headaches, often characterized by tension headaches or migraines.
• Sensitivity or pain in the breasts.
• Abdominal or lower back pain due to uterine contractions.
• Digestive issues such as constipation, diarrhea, or changes in appetite (like wanting to consume the entire bag of Miss Vickie’s potato chips and peanut M&M’s, not to be specific, ha.)

Emotional symptoms:

1. Mood swings: Rapid and intense fluctuations in mood, including irritability, sadness, anxiety, or anger.
2. Increased stress sensitivity: Feeling overwhelmed by minor stressors, like kids not knowing where their paired socks are located.
3. Experiencing feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness.
4. Heightened feelings of worry, nervousness, or unease.
5. Decreased libido: Reduced interest in sexual activity.

Cognitive symptoms:

1. Finding it challenging to focus or maintain attention on tasks.
2. Forgetfulness or difficulty recalling information, like “Where are my glasses, oh right! on my head”.
3. Feeling mentally foggy or disoriented.
4. Finding it harder to accomplish tasks efficiently.

Behavioral symptoms:

1. Changes in sleep patterns: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or increased need for sleep, like falling asleep as YOU are reading to the kids.
2. Appetite changes: Cravings for specific foods, overeating, or loss of appetite.
3. Social withdrawal: Preferring to avoid social interactions or activities.
4. Increased sensitivity to stimuli: Heightened sensitivity to noise, light, or other sensory inputs.

Impact on relationships and daily routines:

1. PMS symptoms can affect interactions with family members, friends, or kids due to mood swings and irritability. (I’m sure you’re unfamiliar with this one!)
2. Reduced productivity: Difficulty completing tasks or meeting obligations due to physical discomfort, fatigue, or cognitive difficulties.
3. Disruption of daily routines: PMS symptoms may interfere with regular activities, including work, household chores, and social engagements.

Of course, your premenstrual experience and mine may have plenty of variation: all our homeschool mom PMS days aren’t the same!

Possibly, you may be one of the few who experience no PMS, but you’re likely not, because why would you be reading this?

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So what do you experience during your homeschool mom PMS days? Decreased energy levels, heightened emotional responses, and difficulty focusing.

For a moment, grab your journal and record your first thoughts on what your experience is around this premenstrual time.

Now that you’ve recorded your first thoughts, consider some of the challenges others have shared:

• Fatigue and low energy can make it difficult for you to maintain your routine, check things off your list, or be creative in your homeschool approach.
• PMS-related mood swings might mean you’re more likely to be received as irritable, anxious, and sad, which others may view as impatient and less emotionally supportive.
• Cognitive symptoms such as difficulty concentrating and remembering things can make it challenging for you to effectively plan or feel focused.
• Bloating, cramps, headaches, and breast tenderness can cause discomfort and distraction.
• Attempting to maintain the same routine during this season may require adjustments.
• Dealing with PMS symptoms while also fulfilling the emotional needs of our kids can be emotionally taxing, to say the least. You may feel guilty for not being able to meet your expectations or maintain your usual level of involvement.
• Finding time for self-care activities, such as rest, relaxation, and stress management, can be challenging for moms experiencing PMS while homeschooling. But if you don’t attend to your needs, you’ll feel worse over time.
• It may be challenging for moms to effectively communicate with their children about their PMS symptoms and how it may temporarily affect their ability to homeschool. Open and honest communication can help children understand and empathize with their mother’s experience.
• Maintaining flexibility and adaptability and lowering your expectations of yourself is essential during periods of PMS.

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Strategies for planning homeschool mom PMS days…

Since this ain’t Groundhog Day (you’ve been experiencing your period since age 12? 15? 9?) then you also know that every 21- 28 days you’ll be experiencing these symptoms again.

So what have you been doing about it?

Proactive planning is a useful tool for your homeschool planning.

1. Keep a symptom journal

Track your menstrual cycles and associated symptoms using a journal. Note the start and end dates of your cycle, as well as any physical, emotional, or cognitive symptoms.

2. Use period tracking apps.

Use period tracking apps so you can input data about your menstrual cycles, symptoms, mood, and lifestyle factors. These trackers can use algorithms to predict your future cycles and symptoms based on your past cycles.

3. Pay attention to physical changes.

Notice if you experience breast tenderness, bloating, headaches, and cramps. Be a super sleuth of your body to identify early signs to help predict the onset of PMS symptoms and put that information into your daytimer.

4. Monitor emotional and mental changes.

Monitor your emotional and cognitive states throughout your menstrual cycle. This includes mood swings, irritability, anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, and changes in sleep patterns.

5. Identify triggers.

Learn to identify potential triggers that exacerbate PMS symptoms, such as stress, dietary factors, lack of exercise, or poor sleep. 

6. Consider hormonal changes.

Educate women about the hormonal fluctuations that occur during the menstrual cycle and how they can influence PMS symptoms. Understanding the interplay between estrogen, progesterone, and other hormones can help women anticipate when symptoms are likely to occur.

7. Experiment with lifestyle changes.

Suggest experimenting with lifestyle changes to see how they affect PMS symptoms. This may include adopting a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, engaging in regular exercise, practicing stress management techniques, and prioritizing adequate sleep.

8. Be patient and persistent.

It may take several menstrual cycles to identify consistent patterns and develop effective strategies for managing symptoms.

9. Involve your kids.

Include the kids by letting them know that when mom pulls out the Lays potato chips and M&M’s, it’s time to switch gears: to switch into the PMS week. They can be PMS detectives;)

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Self-care techniques for homeschool mom PMS days…

There are so many possible self-care techniques that can help alleviate premenstrual symptoms…

1. Regular exercise.

Engaging in regular physical activity, such as walking, jogging, yoga, or swimming, can help reduce PMS symptoms by improving circulation, reducing stress, and boosting mood. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

2. Nourishing diet.

Adopting a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats can help regulate hormone levels and alleviate PMS symptoms. Limiting caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and processed foods may also be beneficial.

3. Stress management techniques.

Practice stress-reduction techniques such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, mindfulness, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery to help reduce anxiety, tension, and irritability associated with PMS.

4. Adequate sleep.

Prioritize quality sleep by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and ensuring a comfortable sleep environment. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night to support overall well-being and hormone regulation.

5. Hydration.

Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day. Avoid excessive consumption of caffeine and alcohol, as they can contribute to dehydration and exacerbate PMS symptoms such as headaches and irritability.

6. Herbal remedies.

Consider incorporating herbal remedies such as chamomile tea, ginger tea, chasteberry (vitex), evening primrose oil, or magnesium supplements into your routine, as they may help alleviate PMS symptoms like bloating, cramps, and mood swings.

I go into much greater detail in my book Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer.

7. Warm compresses.

Apply a warm compress or heating pad to the lower abdomen to help relieve menstrual cramps and abdominal discomfort associated with PMS.

8. Relaxation techniques.

Take time for relaxation and self-care activities that promote a sense of calm and well-being. This could include breathing exercises, meditation (I have a YouTube playlist), taking a warm bath, practicing aromatherapy, listening to soothing music, or indulging in a hobby you enjoy.

9. Social support.

Seek support from friends, family members, or support groups who understand and empathize with your experiences. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can provide emotional validation and reduce feelings of isolation.

You are welcome to schedule a conversation with me to create a Homeschool Mama Wellness Plan.

10. Limit stressful activities.

During the premenstrual phase, try to limit exposure to stressful situations or activities that may exacerbate PMS symptoms. Delegate tasks when possible and prioritize self-care and relaxation.

Continue to practice Stress Management outside this part of your cycle.

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PMS self-care routines and the homeschool routine.

1. Schedule self-care time.

Set aside dedicated time each day for self-care activities, even if it’s just 10-15 minutes. Treat this time as non-negotiable and prioritize it as you would any other important task.

2. Incorporate self-care activities into morning or evening routines.

Start or end each day with a self-care ritual, such as mindfulness meditation, stretching exercises, journaling, or reading a book. These moments of quiet reflection can help set a positive tone for the day or facilitate relaxation before bedtime.

3. Involve your children.

Encourage your children to participate in self-care activities with you, such as family yoga sessions, nature walks, or creative arts and crafts projects. This fosters eyeball-to-eyeball time and also sets a positive example of prioritizing self-care.

4. Utilize nap time or quiet time.

Take advantage of nap time or designated quiet time for self-care activities that require focus or relaxation, such as meditation, taking a power nap, or enjoying a cup of tea in peace.

5. Combine activities.

Look for opportunities to combine self-care activities with homeschooling tasks or household chores. For example, practice mindfulness while folding laundry, listen to calming music or podcasts while preparing meals, or take a relaxing bath when the kids are in bed.

6. Create a self-care nook.

Designate a quiet corner or area in your home where you can retreat for moments of self-care. Decorate the space with comforting items such as journals, cushions, candles, plants, or inspirational quotes to create a soothing atmosphere.

7. Practice mindful parenting.

Incorporate mindfulness into your interactions with your children by staying present and fully engaged during homeschooling activities, meals, and playtime. This mindful approach to parenting can help reduce stress and increase feelings of connection with your children.

8. Set boundaries.

Establish clear boundaries with your children and other family members to protect your self-care time.

9. Delegate tasks.

Don’t hesitate to delegate homeschooling tasks, household chores, or other responsibilities to other family members or enlist the help of a homeschooling teen to play with the kids.

10. Practice gratitude.

Cultivate a daily gratitude practice by reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small.

Expressing gratitude can help shift your focus away from stressors and promote a sense of well-being.

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Additional resources you might appreciate:

• Wellness Journal for Homeschool Moms
• Homeschool Mama’s Big Emotions & How to Address Them
• If you’re dealing with post-partum overwhelm in your homeschool…
• Homeschool Mama Spring Retreat
• Preventing S.A.D. for Homeschool Moms in 13 Ways
• Book a conversation with Teresa to craft a Homeschool Mama Wellness Plan
• Read more about homeschool mom’s life experiences, their cycles, pregnancy, post-partum, and perimenopause in the Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer book

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